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This article was
written by a subscriber to the Keys Safety Bulletin. The views
expressed belong solely to the author and do not necessarily represent
the views of Keys To Safer Schools.com, its Directors or other staff
members. It is presented here to provide a platform for the expression
of frustration felt by many parents in trying to obtain the best
available services for their children. Teachers, Administrators,
Counselors, other Parents, Students and others concerned with school
issues involving potential violence are encouraged to take advantage
of this platform and contact Keys with you thoughts, opinions and
suggestions. |
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Comments
from a Frustrated Parent:
It’s about
the money. It is important
to realize this as your child enters the Special Ed or
intervention
system that has been established to fix your child. It’s not about
helping your child with his/her individual struggles with ADHD,
dyslexia, hearing problems, motor skill problems, shape recognition
problem, or other learning disorder.
Some one other
than you decided what things are going to fix your child before they
met him or her and they allocated the money to do those things. The
people who administer the system that they have been required to
create are primarily concerned about the money and the district does
not want to spend it. As a result, they will not inform you of all of
the resources that are available to try to help your child get an
education and this information will have to be dragged out of them. As
much as they try to intimidate you and make you feel that they are in
charge, remember that you are in charge, your child has a legal right
to an uninterrupted public education, you are fighting for your child,
and you have the ultimate say over where your child attends school and
what individualized education program (IEP) is implemented to help him or
her. They will not tell you this or what is available so that you can
make a decision. If you ask them for a list of available resources the
answer you will get is something like, “Well, in your child’s case,
with his particular
 disability, we normally do XYZ”.
XYZ do not include making sure that your
child is not teased or
bullied, new student welcoming committees, or increased security and
supervision that would allow your child to focus more on his/her
school work and enjoying their school experience rather than social
issues.
The Resource
Manager or Special Ed Administrator you are dealing with reports to a
district Student Resource Director who reports to the district
Superintendent (Super). Unfortunately, the Super’s primary concerns are not
your child’s education. They are the money and getting high scores on
standardized testing in the district which gets him/her more money and
maybe a bonus. If the Student Resource Director does not help the
Super with these goals, he or she will lose their job. If your child’s
Special Ed Administrator does not help the Director help the Super
with these goals, he or she will lose their job and they all know it.
Consequently, no one will tell you what is available to help your
child and they will try to keep any spending to a minimum. They will
also try to take steps that will keep your child from affecting the
school’s over all test scores and this means isolation or telling your
child that he/she doesn’t have to take the tests.
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All of this may sound
hopeless
and
frightening
but there are things that
you can do to insure that your child gets every chance to succeed.
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They will also make every attempt
to make you bear the burden of the expense by telling you that you
should hire tutors or send your child to a therapist who they will
recommend. The tutors and therapists get most of their business from
the school and they are not inclined to antagonize the schools by
providing you with information that would go against the district’s
concerns about money and standardized testing.
Drugging (Medicating) your child is another way that the school will attempt to
exercise control and make you bear the expense. Most children go
through the following process to get drugged: A teacher gets
frustrated over a child’s behavior and speaks to the school counselor
suggesting that the child may need to be drugged to help them, the
counselor speaks to the school psychologist suggesting that the child
needs to be drugged, the school psychologist refers the child to a
county psychiatrist suggesting that the child is depressed or
psychotic and needs to be drugged, the county psychiatrist interviews
the child briefly and prescribes drugs. Your child becomes drugged
because a teacher did not like him/her or the teacher has problems of
their own that affect their abilities to cope with behavioral
characteristics in students. While all of the individuals along this
chain are trained and considered to be professionals, they are human
beings involved with each other in their daily careers and they are
susceptible to their peer’s opinions. The drugs prescribed are mind
altering and often lead to an increase in anger, suicidal thoughts,
and psychotic episodes when they are needlessly prescribed
(see free Resource Below).
All of this may sound hopeless
and frightening but there
 are
things that you can do to insure that your child gets every chance to
succeed. Remember that you are in charge. Use the system to create a
learning environment for your child where he/she is free to enjoy
school and have fun while they are being educated. Usually, there are
two problems. One is your child’s disability and the
other involves social issues. Each one will affect the other
but they must be treated separately. Accept that, except for the more
brilliant people at your child’s school, that the teachers or
administrators will not like you.
The most
important thing is to become immediately aware that something is
bothering your child.
Talk to him or her and ask what is bothering
them. Your child may have been dealing with something like ADHD, shape
recognition, or motor skill issues all along and getting A’s, B’s or
C’s and they suddenly get C’s, D’s or F’s. They may change from having
fun to being sullen and staying to themselves. They may drop off of
the soccer or baseball team and become interested only in video games.
They may suddenly refuse to go to school or develop a sudden interest
in weapons. Their disability has just become harder for them to cope
with for some reason.
If your child is
suffering because of bullies, your divorce, drug or alcohol abuse,
neglect, abuse by you or a new boyfriend or girlfriend, a move to a
new school district, or just entering high school, no Special Ed
program is going to help them with these problems. Your child will be,
to use the term in a non-clinical matter, depressed. Being upset over
these situations does not mean that your child needs to be drugged or
enter therapy. Therapy can be important in these situations but only
if it is with someone who does not regularly work with the school and
you
 decide on the course of action to help your child cope. Therapy will not
fix a disability but it will help your child deal with it, accept it
in a positive manner, and handle social issues. If you cannot afford
it, it is available though the county but make it clear that your
child’s therapy is not part of a Special Ed program and the therapist
is not to report to the school. Have your child tested by an
independent clinical psychologist not associated with the school.
Districts will pay for this. Ask the psychologist about possible drug
intervention. Disabilities such as ADHD, ADD, and depression can be
treated in ways that don’t involve drugs. This way you will be armed
with a full understanding of your child’s disability and knowledge as
to whether drugs are required to help your child. Never let the school
system start the drugging process.
Unless your
child’s school has had a recent shooting, assume that your
 child,
along with the other Special Ed children, is being teased and bullied.
Special Ed kids always get teased and bullied. Children will not
report this because of fear of reprisal or embarrassment. Another
indicator is that school restrictions against bullying are not
included in written school policies along with prohibitions against
race and sexual harassment.
See Legislation being pasted by States on Bullying in Box and
learn of proposed Legislation in Texas ->
Senate Bill 152
Meet with the principal and ask
him/her what steps the school is taking to prevent bullying and let it
be known that you expect your child to be protected. You have a right to
demand that an adult shadow your child for his/her protection and the
protection of others. Given a choice, most principals will opt for an
on campus police officer to protect all children. Ask the principal
what new student welcoming and social resolution programs exist.
Notify the police of any incident you become aware of and, if needed
contact the local paper. An email titled, “Environment Similar to
Columbine’s Exists at XXXX School”, will get noticed. After a school
shooting, the bullying stops but, try to stop it from getting to this
point.
Control who
deals with your child. You have every right to demand a new counselor
or class change for your child. Interview the counselor and ask them
if they are familiar with your child’s form of disability. If they are
not, never let your child talk to them. If a teacher does not like
your child or does not seem to be able to cope, you have every right
to demand a new classroom. Ask your child’s teachers if they are
familiar with your child’s disability. If they are not, ask the
principal to schedule training seminars for the teachers or, at the
very least, to distribute reading material. Make sure that the people
your child comes in contact with are positive and encouraging as
opposed to critical and discouraging. While you can not expect every
teacher to jump on your child’s bandwagon, you can keep them from the
most discouraging and harmful. Most children are not fixed by the
system. They are fixed by an individual who reaches them
(See Article on
Connections). You must
give your child every possible chance to meet this person.
Ask the Resource
or Special Ed Administrator if they feel unduly pressured by the
district to curtail their intervention programs. Inform him or her
that, with their assistance, you will be developing an individualized
education program for your child and that you need to be made aware of
all available resources. This will put him or her on notice that you
are ware of what happens in Special Ed Programs and that you know that
you are in charge. If the Resource Manager will not list the resources
available make a list of the problems areas reported by the
psychologist and ask what will be done about each one. You will
uncover more resources through this process. After you have collected
all of this information, assume that anything is available and put
together a program for your child and ask for the Resource Manager’s
input. Special Ed is a stigma to most kids and can create social
issues. Make sure that you tell the Resource Manager that you want the
intervention to be as low profile as possible. An ideal situation
would be for your child to have a place to go to help with schoolwork
each day. Special Ed laws give your child a right to an education
alongside his peers. Try to avoid isolation in Special Ed rooms at all
costs.
Make sure that you keep the school
on task.
 They
will try to blame you and ask you questions like how is your child’s
diet, how much sleep does your child get, or whether you drink or not.
Ask them if they have a program to correct your child’s
malnourishment, sleeping habits, or your drinking problem. If they
don’t then tell them to focus on what they can do to make sure that
your child gets an education.
If none of this works, have your child transferred to a different
school and start the process over again. Do not give up and don’t let
the school talk you into worrying about the money.
Submitted By:
Parent - Emmett Smith
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